Dear person reading this... I'm G. Is this where I'm supposed to say something about myself? I always have trouble with this... I just got married. I started this tumblog as a wedding blog... now that the wedding is officially over, it's an everything blog =) Still in transition, of course, as I work through taking down some of the wedding stuff and putting up more of everything else. Back to reality!
TAG C L O U D S ARE FUN:
stand*by*my*side
MARRIED!!!…. Now what??
Last night I finally recycled my wedding magazines (something I should have done much sooner). Actually, I had M do it because it was making me too sad to look at them.
Wanna know something you never hear when planning a wedding??
“You might be sad when it’s over.” —or at least, I never heard this. (To other brides out there who prefer blissful ignorance, please accept my apologies and stop reading.)
So why am I writing this?… Because I wish someone had told me.
Not because I enjoy Debbie Downers, but because I wouldn’t have minded being prepared for the possibility. The only thing worse than being sad is being caught off-guard about it when the whole world tells you it’ll be roses and rainbows as you’re driving off into the sunset. (To be clear, I wasn’t holding unrealistic expectations of marital bliss— but I was looking forward to just being married and not having a wedding to plan.)
And, for the most part, it has been wonderful. I’m incredibly happy with M. But there’s the paradox: to be so happy and in love with someone when he’s there next to you, and to feel lonely and sad when he’s not. I don’t know why.. I just keep rethinking the wedding and all of our friends who flew in from all over—childhood friends, old friends from college, people who met for the first time that night and became instant friends… this beautiful combination of people who will probably never be in the same room again… people who I miss terribly—and it brings me to tears.
Another thing I’m ashamed to admit: I kind of miss the attention. Which is totally weird because my normal tendency is to shy away from it— being the center of attention makes me extremely nervous.. my palms get sweaty, my face gets hot and red, I get fidgety, and I usually say something stupid. It’s not pretty (although, thankfully, it was a completely different experience being a bride). There’s just such a stark contrast to go from wearing a white dress and receiving endless the compliments, to having everyone go back to their normal every day life the day after your wedding. It’s like waking up to realize the party is suddenly over, but you’re still on the dance floor wondering when everyone left and when they turned off the spot-light.
But I shouldn’t make it sound all doom and gloom… Things have actually gotten a bit better for me over the past month. At the beginning I fluctuated between 2 moods; if I wasn’t crying, I was super-clingy with M (he was really sweet about it and relished me being so cuddly and huggy with him; I have a really wonderful husband). Distracting myself with something else to plan— in our case, the honeymoon, which we’ll be taking at some point over the next year, and starting our house hunt— has been pretty helpful.
It’s still hard sometimes though (like today for some reason); most of my sadness has been replaced by guilt over feeling this way and wondering “wtf is wrong with me??!” Aren’t I supposed to be the picture of newly-wedded bliss and have a perma-grin glued to my face?
Deep down I know that’s unrealistic… I’m just so confused and frustrated why I can’t shake this gray cloud off me.
Love came,
and became like blood in my body.
It rushed through my veins and
encircled my heart.
Everywhere I looked,
I saw one thing.
Love’s name written
on my limbs,
on my left palm,
on my forehead,
on the back of my neck,
on my right big toe…
Oh, my friend,
all that you see of me
is just a shell,
and the rest belongs to love.
Photos, photos, and more photos…
It’s been a busy month, y’all!
Wedding planning is exhausting, fo’ sho. But SO much fun… And people get so excited when they find out you’re getting married!! Complete happiness and well-wishes from total strangers… it really is the best. I mean, I think it could even be prescribed for depression. Just go outside and start telling random people you’re getting married and see how they react. Even better, do it in Louisiana. Guaranteed, you will get AT LEAST one hug. Maybe even a free dessert (or two!) if you stop by a restaurant. ;o) (Evidence below, in the last few pictures of the chain.)
But to get back to the photos…
Cake tasting is my favorite part of being engaged.
Although saying “my fiancé” isn’t so bad either. =)
Cake tasting, Round 1:
Raspberry Ambrosia cake: white cake layered with raspberry preserves, fresh raspberries, and whipped cream and topped with Chambord-flavored buttercream icing. Sounds amazing, but didn’t actually taste that great.
Lemon cake: lemon-flavored cake layered with fresh strawberries and whipped cream, and topped with a lemon French buttercream icing. I love the tart and sweet combo. M didn’t like this one as much.
Cake tasting, Round 2:
Nine— that’s right, 9 different flavors to taste that day. The pastry chef was really nice and made extras of the other flavors from the other tastings earlier in the day. This made for us leaving with 2 very full bellies, as we’d only prepared to taste 3 flavors (read: do not eat lunch an hour before going to a cake tasting).
Flavors: (clockwise, starting from the bottom)…
Red velvet (meh)
Jamaican Rum cake (blech!! Though somehow M liked this one)
Chocolate on chocolate cake (too rich)
Chocolate light cake (good)
Lemon zest cake (the Round 1 lemon cake was way better)
Spanish Almond cake (so good, it will blow your mind)
Caramel Apple cake (I LOVED this one— M, not so much)
(In the middle, above red velvet)…
Tres Leches (yumm, yumm, YUMMY)
Chocolate chip Banana cake (sadly disappointing.. kinda tasted bitter to me).
We may end up choosing 2 flavors (1 for each tier) since we both liked the Spanish Almond and Tres Leches equally. Still pondering as we work our way through the left overs. Stay tuned =)
Wedding Menu!!!
Passed hors d’oeuvres:
Mediterranean meatballs with feta and olives
Parsnip pancakes with sour cream and chives
Black bean soup served in espresso cups
Hors d’oeuvres station:
Bruschetta bar (tomoato and basil; wild mushroom; roasted asparagus)
Variety of cheeses from local farms
Fresh fruit
Salad:
Mixed baby field greens with grape tomatoes, manchego cheese, and lemon vinaigrette
Entreés:
Chicken skewers with choice of satay/peanut sauce or garlic herb sauce
Honey chipotle grilled flank steak
Baked salmon with lemon and dill
Sides:
Green beans with dijon dill dressing
Grilled vegetables with lime cilantro dressing
Red bliss roasted potatoes with garlic and rosemary
Assorted rolls
Hopefully family style rather than traditional buffet style… still working out details with the caterer. Would rather not have guests stand in line to get food— brings back memories of lunch time in grade school =/
